Oh Great & Powerful Lance, 

News of your intention to ride the full week of RAGBRAI 2008 has traveled around the globe.  May we humbly suggest you find an established RAGBRAI team to ride with.  You really do need some RAGBRAI veterans to show you how to have to best RAGBRAI experience possible.  We can teach you how to be a 'back of the pack' type of rider.  After all RAGBRAI isn't a race; it's a party.  Team Stiff would like to extend an open invitation for you to join us on RAGBRAI 2008.  And feel free to bring any of your Hollywood buddies with you.  We would love to have you join us the last week of July as we ride and party our way across Iowa.  If you want to keep a low profile and ride incognito, we will respect that too and keep your secret.  And if you would like to pull our draft lines and/or stereo, well that would be cool too.  RAGBRAI is the oldest, biggest, craziest bike ride ever, and certainly a lot more fun than racing against all those cheese-eating, surrender monkeys.  We hope you will join us.

Sincerely,

The Stiffies

(bryanbarney@yahoo.com)